‘Pick Up Artists’ aren’t welcome

Joy of joys. Apparently there’s a Pick Up Artist seminar coming to New Zealand, which may or may not include ‘The World’s Most Hated Man‘- Julien Blanc.

The seminar is being organised by Real Social Dynamics – a Pick Up Artist circlejerk ‘community’ – and will allegedly be held on 21 April at a secret location. This is presumably to avoid a dangerous stampede of women hammering at the doors, their frantic eyes burning with desire, clawing at their clothes as they scream “Negggg meeeee, neggggg meeeeeee” in unison.

Blanc’s January and April seminar tour was cancelled in Australia for reasons currently unknown, but hopefully his visa was cancelled again.

Frankly, I don’t care if the seminar is run by Julien Blanc, the irresistible Jeff “Jeffy” Allen or any other treasure who thinks he has a “PhD in female attraction” – New Zealand should have zero tolerance for seminars run by groups that promote violence against women. Because, along with living in your mum’s basement, that’s what Pick Up Artists promote.

The whole community is founded on the idea that women can be “gamed” into finding men attractive because they are “naturally passive”. Apparently, the more confident and pushy the man, the more endearing he is to these mythical women that love to be hounded in public.

Women are ‘negged‘ into trying to please the PUAs who are hitting on them. Men who usually have an end goal of achieving sex, even if it means employing sexual assault strategies. Men who watch videos and revere ‘Alpha Male’ figures like Blanc, who posted photos (now deleted, of course) of him holding women in chokeholds while propositioning them, and once made a video (shock: now also deleted) telling men in Japan to “Just go through Tokyo, grab girls and yell ‘Pikachu!’ and put her head on your dick”.

I doubt every man who’s used PUA strategies is, or intends to be, a rapist. I doubt most of the creators of these ‘strategies’ think they’re doing anything sexually violent or coercive. The majority of the community seems to be made up of awkward men seeking strategies to overcome their fears of rejection and get out more. But.

Many of the strategies are aggressive, manipulative and coercive. And all of the strategies are reductive, offensive and try to achieve sexual contact by using existing harmful sexist norms to men’s advantage. The ‘anti slut defense’ or “ASD” – because acronyms are always hot – is a perfect example of this:

“Post-sex ASD often involves justifications for the sex act: “It just happened,” “he wouldn’t give up,” “I was really drunk,” etc. PUAs should take this tendency of women into consideration, and make sex as easy for her as possible by taking the lead and responsibility for sex, and providing her with convenient excuses for sleeping with them.”

Yeah I mean, it’s definitely an imaginary psychological barrier and not the fact PUAs are pushy creeps which make women not want to sleep with them. Also, being really drunk or feeling like your partner wouldn’t give up is unequivocally sexual violence.

All of the sexist tropes PUAs promote exist on this spectrum of violence. If we tolerate and shrug it off it at ‘lower’ levels, it feeds the environment that allows the worst sexual and family violence to exist. PUAs, and other men who think women are sexy puzzles to get cheat codes for, are the foundations on which intimate partner violence stands.

pyramid-bullying-corrected2Source: http://cindywaitt.com/violence-starts-with-words/

Pick Up Artistry is ultimately a pyramid scheme of “psychology”, “inner games” and “outer games” followed by lonely guys who idolise Blanc and other “Alphas” for their confidence. And honestly? I feel a bit sorry for those guys.

But these ‘Alphas’ – whoa boy are they are different story. I mean, I feel sorry for them too, because poor Jeff Allen needs his “Mighty Wolf” poster on the inside of his panel van to remind him “of the majesty of nature…which [he] employ[s] on a nightly basis as inspiration for ‘beast mode'”. (Are you aroused? I am).

But ultimately they’re dangerous. Somewhere, someone along the line failed to take one by their mullet and tell them that it doesn’t matter that Lucy Johnson told all her friends he smelt bad in gym class, and that wetting the bed about it for the next decade until he saw the Matrix and decided to turn himself around, is no basis for a career. Especially a career that creates forums where men guide each other to assault women as a legitimate seduction ‘tactic’.

In New Zealand 1 in 3 women will experience intimate partner violence in her lifetime. It’s an epidemic. And anything that contributes to this – like teaching men to ‘game’ women in order to get sex – needs to be told what’s good. Whether it’s Blanc, or his minions, we have to send their limited edition German army backpacks, packing.

So I’ve started a petition through ActionStation to ask the Minister of Immigration to deny their visas. Sign here and help keep Pick Up Artists in their mum’s basements.

5 thoughts on “‘Pick Up Artists’ aren’t welcome

  1. These particular guys get worse and worse the more you hear about them. Jeffy’s group doesn’t just teach negging and other tryhard dating, which is bad enough. If you’re tempted to read this and go ‘nah stupid PUAs?’, this group advocates for physically assaulting women as a technique for breaking the ice, and using the techniques of emotional and physical abuse to keep her keen. One of them straight up suggested it was a top idea to choke women as your ‘opener’. So if you’re thinking this all sounds like a bit of harmless pseudoscience that surely won’t escalate to anything worse: well, it already has. I’ve signed the petition and I urge everyone to do the same.

  2. So why don’t don’t all of you who think the teachings of these guys are so terribly immoral tell us men on how to seduce woman? Buy her flowers and help her moving? The guy you were wildly kissing in the corner of the club, what traits did he have? Why did you respond to it? Seduction is just a skill men have learned or should learn. It’s not manipulation. What works works. Get over it.

  3. My goal of becoming good at interacting with woman is to really enjoy interacting with woman. Positive interactions with woman can be amazing experiences. It is about having a really good time for both parties. Because of all kinds of social conditionings, people have all kinds of anxieties, fears and insecurities about it. This is aimed at men to overcome them. To understand why they are not having these amazing experiences with woman, while other people do. And to actually do something instead of crying about it. It’s mainly focused on men teaching men about how to become better men. Next to that, it clearly exposes how these dynamics work in modern day society. Some of the things that do attract woman might seem shocking, but people are all different, some people enjoy shocking…pickup experts developed an understanding for what works for different kind of woman, for ‘bad girs’, for ‘good girls’, for all kinds.,,the ‘bad ones’ might respond to more ‘shocking’ approaches. This upsets you? It’s just a reality. All this information is to be learned from, not to be banned. Note that people who are interested in this have all kind of goals with it, some look just for fun nights out (sex can add on to that), some look for serious relationships (where to look for interesting woman, and what to do to get them interested in a long term relationship with me? What should I be so she won’t run away?), some look just for the thrill of the interactions, some look for generally learning about social dynamics etc. etc. It’s good that people are critical, but it is way to easy to just scream: what they teach is immoral, ban them from the country!

  4. I believe your conception of the pickup movement is the classic media-hyped strawman at it’s very best. If you were truly inclined to seek in a well-balanced and impartial and insight community, you will find there to be great emphasis on fostering genuine connections with women. As a 20 year old male who has recently delved into the movement after a period of dabbling and casual, periodic speculation, I can attest that I have learnt a great deal about exerting confidence, being at ease with myself, living within the presence of life’s moments and building and maintaining my internal truss-work which communicates honesty and authenticity to people. Pickup/seduction is far less concerned with quick-fix calculated routines and scripted instances (i.e. negging), which are fabricated in such an attempt to win the sexual and romantic affection from women, than it was the case a decade ago. What we have here is a natural progression toward an emphasis on self-awareness and self-development being inextricably entwined with romantic/sexual relationships with women. As someone who unabashedly ‘daygames’ in Auckland’s CBD, it rather baffles me to see like-minded individuals such yourself superficially plucking a few examples of what appear to you as off-colour jokes out of their larger contexts and use those very examples to deride the pickup art community as facilitators for misogyny and violence against women. I’m not saying online resources such as RSD are by any means perfect – they to me personally seem to have a strength with confidence boosting while somewhat lacking in the area concerning emotional investment in women in their free YouTube videos, although to be fair I have seen a few videos touch upon the subject; but contrary to what you believe, actually they do more good than harm. If by any chance you’re curious to know about a more holistic and emotionally-oriented approach to seduction, I would recommend checking out The Natural Lifestyles – an Aussie based seduction coaching business.

    https://www.youtube.com/user/thenaturaltv

    This video may fill you with a lot of glee, considering the topical nature of this site of your’s.

    Also, you should check out Mark Manson. He is a former pickup coach, but still offers invaluable insight on relationships and women.
    http://markmanson.net/

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