Sex negativity breeds rape

I am up to my eyeballs in this Roast Busters stuff for both my professional and personal activism at the moment, and I just want to say something that’s been at the top of my mind.

Sex negativity breeds rape. It’s not just male entitlement and misogyny, it’s our post-Victorian colonised society which, even in 2014, is still deeply repressive.

Talking about sex and desire openly is still ‘edgy’ unless it’s framed within toxic masculinity, or feminine sexuality that caters to toxic masculinity. When we push healthy open sexuality into the depths, we allow harmful sexuality to flourish because sex is all one big mass of “bad”.

When we refuse to teach our children about sexuality (not just biology), when we condone (or fail to challenge) an education system which has no mandatory sexual ethics education, and when we re-elect a Government which is slowly strangling to death the services which offer this education, we are fostering a culture which breeds rape.

But, if we allow our young people to talk about sex and their desires in a way that encourages positive sexual expression without shame, and teach beyond “penises and vaginas” to delve into age-appropriate enthusiastic consent, negotiation, and how to step in when something doesn’t look right in their peer group, we can start to heal.

Talk about sex. Talk about good sex and bad sex. And challenge people who think there’s something wrong with that.