Celebrity Wedding Planned for Wellington

Artist model: Celebrity Wedding Planned for Christchurch

Celebrity Wedding Planned for Wellington

FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE

Bringing sausage rolls to a community hall in Wellington, veteran Good Bitch Nicole Skews and little-known partner mentioned briefly somewhere at the end, will marry in Autumn 2015.

Celebrations will be held at the luxury Vogelmorn Hall and catered with only the finest savouries from the one oven in the hall kitchen. Only weeks ago, this hall played host to Sheryl Wilkinson, the most coordinated attendee at  ‘Postively Zumba’.

Ms Skews is known to New Zealanders as ‘Queen of the Emerald Stormtroopers’, and is a household name among 3 twitter users, including one very important game-changer big-name Auckland blogger.

Ms Skews has retained a consistently high profile with her mum and local fish and chip shop owner, and was a hot topic for 3 weeks running in the Wellingtonian after daring to be publicly pro-choice.

The super hot chubby red-head was once blessed by Aggressively Christian Bowler Hat Man in his 80’s on Lambton Quay, and continues to have great popularity among older white Christians when they can’t hear her or see her tattoo.

Ms Skews’ husband-to-be Simon Poole is a high-profile planning adviser within his own desk pod of 2 people in Wellington’s affluent CBD. He is known for his above average seasonal beard, and is frequently seen getting sustainably farmed, free range vegetarian fried chicken.

The couple are pleased to seal their love to Wellington, the place where they have spent so many years waiting for overdue Metlink buses and avoiding street harassment in the popular Sevens competition.

It’s unlikely Ms Skews will wear a traditional wedding dress, as her breasts are too large. “They’re just really big!” enthused Mr Poole.

Excited about having the big day in their favourite city, the noted philanthropists miss no opportunity to philanth . “It’s nice to give back to Wellington” say Ms Skews and Mr Poole “we were thinking we might give all our leftovers and plate scraps to the local soup kitchen. If there is one?”

ENDS