3 thoughts on “2013”

  1. Hi Coley

    I’m sorry 2013 has been so hard for you.

    I understand that that’s not the point of the post. But I do object to the way you talk about the issues around the WYFC pool party. Your description of that conflict totally mis-represents it, your role in it, and why what you did upset people. First it is straight up untrue to say I allowed *an* event to be planned that wasn’t accessible in a number of ways”. The Pool Party was the third large social WYFC event, and the third to disable people with mobility impairments. Second, I think you are leaving out what most antagonised people to you specifically, which was the way you reacted to criticism. You deleted people’s criticisms, and trivialised the decision to do so on twitter. You kept trying to shut down discussion, minimise people’s anger, and deflect from what’s going on.

    I don’t know if you don’t actually understand which of your actions antagonised people (and if so – I’m sure there are people who would be prepared to talk to with you and explain), or if you found the situation so difficult you can’t talk about it directly (or something else). But I really object to your misrepresenation of that discussion. It is marginalising and minimising so people, who you’d already marginalised and minimised. If you’re not in a place where you can talk about this honestly, without minimising what happened and your role that’s fine, but then I don’t think you should talk about it publicly. A much shorter “I found the conflict around WYFC pool party really stressful” would be adequate information to describe the role of the conflict in your life – without misrepresenting other people’s views.

    1. Thanks Grace, that is a totally accurate recounting and I’m sorry for posting something that seemed to gloss over the issues with the pool party. I wasn’t sure how to adequately summarise it, and I obviously didn’t do that very well. I really appreciate you taking the time to pull me up on that and suggest a better way of doing it.

      I will edit that part now.

      Thanks again, and I am very sorry for the minimisation here and hurt caused because of that. I will either talk about it as fully as possible, or not at all in future.

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